2015_bmgmodels_lovelezlie

Hey Lovers,

Do you know the difference between people pleasing and serving others? I hadn’t really thought about it until my recent training with Treasures. During our training they gave us a handout on the difference between the two and I found the information very helpful. I shared with you in my previous post that my dominate personality type is “The Helper“. This type tends to be a people pleaser because the basic need is to be loved. Although it’s only been a week since I took that test, I’ve already started to change some of my thought patterns and behaviors in order to be the healthiest version of myself. A friend of mine posted the chat below and I thought it was timely.

Do you consider yourself a people pleaser? Check out the helpful list below on the difference between people pleasing and serving others.

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2015_bmgmodels_lovelezlie

This photo was taken when I first moved to LA. I remember around this time being approached several times by older men to work in the sex industry. Thank God I always said NO, but it softened my heart to those who were lured into it.

 

Hey Lovers,

I recently attended a training with an organization that helps minister to women in the sex industry. Over the years I have met several women and men who were lured into the sex industry when they first moved to LA in hopes of becoming a star. The majority of porn made in this world is created right here in the Valley of LA. Before I received this training, I had personal experience of my own with being approached to work in this particular industry. I remember before I even moved to LA I was searching for jobs on Craigslist…. (I wonder how many disasters have started with searching on Craigslist?). Anyway, I remember responding to a seemingly innocent job post looking for models and actors. The response came from a man who said that they offered free housing if you “looked the part”. Mind you, I was in my early 20’s and was pretty naive in general with the ways of the world. But I sensed that something was off with this situation and thankfully I passed and transferred to a Starbucks in LA for my first job. Several years later I was sitting at a bar with a friend and this old guy kept giving me the eye. He never said a word to me but when he got up to leave he put his business card down by my drink and I remember his title was Director of Housing for the City of LA. Obviously, I didn’t look homeless in this particular moment, so why would he hand me his card? Well, I knew why. I threw away his card but I never forgot his title.

I’ve since come to realize through years in this city that one of the many ways that people get lured and trapped into the sex industry is through housing and other basic needs. In the training I recently received, they actually went into this with Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs and a handout written by an actual pimp. You can read it word for word below.

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2015_love_lovelezlie

This is me, not caring, lol.

 

 

Hey Lovers,

So I took this personality test “9 Types” and my result was #2 (The Helper). Here is the description.

Dynamics of Type 2: Helper

World View: People depend on my help. I am needed.
Basic Desire: to be loved
Basic Fear: of being unloved

A lightbulb went on when I read my results. My life has been centered around love for as long as I can remember. But lately, I have been feeling this shift going on. The shift to unplug from constant activity with others into a time of solitude and focusing on the many things that I have been avoiding on my plate. Actually, my plate is turning into a cupboard at this point. The other day I had lunch with a friend who happens to be a psychologist. We were talking about people pleasing, the need for love and what that really means. I shared with her how I felt like my schedule that week slipped right through my hands because the week prior I booked each day with appointments with other people. Many of these people were loved ones that I was happy to see. But there was an internal conflict because I knew that I was just delaying this season of solitude that I’ve seen coming for years now.

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2015_Ancestry_LoveLezlie

Hey Lovers,

I really enjoyed writing the previous post on identity and truly enjoyed your feedback on this subject. It’s something very personal to me and has been a lifelong journey of mine. I’m sure you have been on a similar one. One of the sites I discovered through my genealogy studies is AnthroScape. This site is packed with forums of random information on genealogy, ancestry, science and more. Some of the forums are a bit foolish and even border on racist, but I just skip over those. One post in particular allows people to guess your ancestry composition. Since I get asked this question often and have heard a range of guesses, I figured I may as well ask for research ;). Here were the results.

What Strangers Thought

  • 25% Caucasian, 75% Black
  • 40% Asian the rest African and maybe a dash of “other”
  • 25% Amerindian (Native American) 25% Black 50% Caucasian
  • Really hard, I see characteristics of all three types, but leaning more toward African and Asian
  • South American
  • 50% African and 50% European
  • Creole?

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Hey Lovers,

I recently sat down to chat with Lindsey over Skype about her experience as a Christian who follows a plant based diet. Though she just made the transition, she’s already felt many health and spiritual benefits. I first met Lindsey through Instagram and was encouraged by her posts and friendliness towards others. As you can see in the video above, our first chat felt more like old friends catching up. I love how social media can bring us together with like minds and hearts, don’t you?

Lindsey's Brownie

I saw this yummy food post on Lindsey’s Instagram account and had to ask her about it. Here’s how she made it!

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2015_Blogcademy_LoveLezlie

(image via: Sarah Lee Williams at http://www.thisradlove.com)

 

Hey Lovers,

Over the weekend I got the chance to attend the LA Blogcademy with Gala Darling and her fab friends Shauna Haider and Kat Williams. Together, they travel the world teaching bloggers the necessary steps to turn blogs from black holes of online journaling to an actual business or product that people want. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a classroom setting, but I immediately remembered how much I loved being a student. The fashionable classmates were a great mental boost, as well as the super minimalist setting.

 

2015_Blogcademy_LoveLezlie

(image via: Sarah Lee Williams at http://www.thisradlove.com)

 

Over the course of the weekend we went over the following topics, with a few added bonuses like taking selfies, lighting for videos, and producing digital content (i.e. e-books).

1. FORMATTING BASICS.

2. BLOGGING BUSINESS PLAN.

3. DISCOVERING YOUR IDEAL READER.

4. CRAFTING YOUR ABOUT PAGE.

5. DEFINING YOUR BLOG’S PURPOSE.

6. CREATING KILLER CONTENT.

7. CONSISTENCY.

8. SOCIAL MEDIA.

9. NETWORKING.

10. BRANDING.

11. THE BLOGCADEMY CASE STUDY.

12. STILL LIFE 101.

13. ADVERTISING.

14. BRAND COLLABORATIONS.

15. BUSINESS DOCUMENTS.

16. INCOME DIVERSIFICATION.

17. IMAGE USAGE.

 

2015_Blogcademy_LoveLezlie

(image via: Sarah Lee Williams at http://www.thisradlove.com)

 

All of us bloggers left feeling inspired and way more knowledgeable. We’ve already connected and started an LA blogging group to keep in touch and create a support system. And Gala, Shauna and Kat were so helpful. They gave us report cards with personal notes on how we can improve our blogs and what is currently working. They also wrote us these lovely hand-written notes as a personal goodbye. If you are a blogging entrepreneur, The Blogcademy is a great investment. You can check out their page for a taste of their online courses HERE.

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Tedx Show

 

Hey Lovers,

Occasionally I like to browse old blog posts to see where my head and heart was at compared to where they are today. About 5 years ago I modeled for a Tedx event for a line called Your Psycho Girlfriend. The Tedx talk was by Johanna Blakely and was about fashion and sustainability. After I finished modeling my dress (which is still one of the coolest pieces I’ve worn to date), I was stopped by CNN to record a video for Earth Day. They wanted to know what kind of world would be ideal to me. the video made me smile because my response was still in alignment with what’s on my heart today, though I was in a very different place in life.

I want to live in a world where people choose love, instead of fear because I think right now we are controlled by it (fear) and it’s unfortunate. I also would love to live in a world where people are critical thinkers. ” – Lezlie, CNN iReport

 

Wouldn’t that be nice? I think so. All I can do is choose love for my own life and be an example of it. I hope you’ll join me.

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perfection

Hey Lovers,

I admit, I’m guilty of being a perfectionist. I like everything to be lovely and beautiful and of quality if possible. This used to stop me from sharing my creativity with the world because my vision rarely matched my execution in the end. I’ve had to learn to let go of perfection, because it doesn’t exist. No matter how many times you refine something in your own power, in the end it will never be totally perfect. It may be really close, it may be wonderful, it could be excellent. When I realized the difference between excellence and perfection that was the turning post for me. Instead of obsessing over the things I couldn’t control, I learned to be excellent in what I could control. This new freedom, along with not caring what other people think about me or my creativity, has allowed me to openly share what’s in my heart and on my mind.

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What Brings Me Joy

February 23, 2015 — Leave a comment

joy farrington

 

Hey Lovers,

I sat down at my laptop to write a post and this title popped in my head. At first I thought it would be a list of things that bring me joy and gratitude in my life. But I immediately thought of my dear friend Joy Farrington. When I first met Joy in 2012 she was the colorful woman you see above. She’s still colorful as ever. Her hair is just long and brown now :). Joy lives up to her name, so much so that it’s made me think long and hard about the importance in naming a child. When I’m around her it’s non-stop laughs and light hearts.

Joyful

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Love You More

February 21, 2015 — 2 Comments

love you more

Hey Lovers,

Not too long ago I was chatting with a friend and they ended the conversation with, “love you more” after I told them that I loved them. I’ve heard this saying thousands of times before, and to be honest it’s always rubbed me the wrong way. But I’ve never stopped to actually process why it bothers me. This time I did. I come from a competitive environment of dreamers and over-achievers, even perfectionists. I think that ambition can be a great thing if it’s channeled in a healthy way. But I think that some things need not be a competition. I think the reason this phrase rubs me the wrong way is that there really isn’t a response to it aside from, “no, I love you more.” I guess you could stop and think about it and decide if they actually love you more than you love them. But that just takes you to a weird place, know what I mean?

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant  or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Maybe I have heard this phrase over the years and assumed it was said in a boastful or rude way. Or maybe it’s just been frustration over the idea that people want to compete even when it comes to love. Obviously this is true because we have TV shows like “The Bachelor”. But I don’t like to compete when it comes to love. I think when we bring competition into love it can get ugly.

There have been times when my husband has said that he loves me and my immediate response has been to say that I love him more ;). I’m guilty of saying this too at times. But you know what? It irritates him too. So now I say, “I love you more than I did yesterday.”

When someone says that they love you more do you take it differently than I do?

love-lezlie