Dear Caffeine

December 11, 2013 — 5 Comments

Dear Caffeine,

I didn’t realize how much I loved you over the years. You slithered your way into my life through boxes of chocolate. And those years that I worked as a barista at Starbucks didn’t help because I discovered espresso. Well, it turns out that you are no good for me. It turns out that you are the root of the insufferable cramps I’ve had since middle school. It turns out that you are the root of my heart skipping beats too. So you see, although you brought me temporary highs, you just aren’t worth the painful lows. You will no longer trick me into believing that I can have “just one sip”, because it’s clear that I can’t. I realize that many people can have a relationship with you and you aren’t as harsh on them as you are on me. But they have nothing to do with our personal relationship.

So this is goodbye F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

5 responses to Dear Caffeine


    I found this fascinating for 2 reasons – 1). I had those same horrible, insufferable cramps every month also – all my life – but I was not drinking coffee – I just did! Hmmm, interesting!

    2). I found it so interesting that someone could also read what you wrote as a metaphor to also describing one’s relationship – “the temporary highs are not worth the painful lows!” I wonder how many people might have seen the same analogy in those words! Not referring to myself of course! LOL! Just life and relationships in general!


    Did you have soda or chocolate because that could have triggered the cramps as well? It’s funny when I started writing the break up letter I realized that I really did have a relationship with this substance. Now I hope to turn to God instead of caffeine for strength and even comfort :). Thanks of reading <3.

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