I came across this article that really struck a nerve for me. I feel like that question is the question that sparks all others. Because after you get engaged, then the question is, “When are you getting married?” The next question, the question that may cause me to smack someone is, “So when are you having a baby?”. And my friend Lissy told me that after you have the first child, the next question is, “So when are you having another one so they can have a sibling?”
So it got me thinking. Is it possible to have a complete life without any of these things? I’m very happily married and I don’t have children. I have friends that aren’t married yet but because of their dream careers or relationship with God they are very happy. I have friends that are married with one child and seem to be very happy. And I have friends that are married with multiple children and are happy because their cup runneth over. The flip is that some are overwhelmed because they don’t have anytime for what they want to do in life.
Sometimes I feel like smacking someone when I’m asked about kids because I have a ridiculous sixth sense. It’s easy for me to read between lines and I sense that many people asking this are asking because they are meddling. Obviously there are people who ask out of logic because it seems to be the next step after marriage, right? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby…
But I just think it’s a bit intrusive to ask people personal questions like this, especially more than once. And you know what? Not everyone has the same path in life. I have friends who can’t have children because of health complications, and others who have had multiple miscarriages and haven’t been able to move on from the pain. Imagine the pain they go through when asked meddling questions. I have other friends who are single and there is nothing they want more than a god fearing husband who will love them and propose. Can they create him out of thin air? No! So why ask them every single time about it.
I don’t know, I guess this is a bit of a rant on this last day of 2013, but so be it. I just think that people should be happy in the present, and respect others and their present reality. Love them, encourage them, pray for them… but don’t expect them to live on your timeline.
What do you think?