Not too long ago I was chatting with a friend and they ended the conversation with, “love you more” after I told them that I loved them. I’ve heard this saying thousands of times before, and to be honest it’s always rubbed me the wrong way. But I’ve never stopped to actually process why it bothers me. This time I did. I come from a competitive environment of dreamers and over-achievers, even perfectionists. I think that ambition can be a great thing if it’s channeled in a healthy way. But I think that some things need not be a competition. I think the reason this phrase rubs me the wrong way is that there really isn’t a response to it aside from, “no, I love you more.” I guess you could stop and think about it and decide if they actually love you more than you love them. But that just takes you to a weird place, know what I mean?
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Maybe I have heard this phrase over the years and assumed it was said in a boastful or rude way. Or maybe it’s just been frustration over the idea that people want to compete even when it comes to love. Obviously this is true because we have TV shows like “The Bachelor”. But I don’t like to compete when it comes to love. I think when we bring competition into love it can get ugly.
There have been times when my husband has said that he loves me and my immediate response has been to say that I love him more ;). I’m guilty of saying this too at times. But you know what? It irritates him too. So now I say, “I love you more than I did yesterday.”
When someone says that they love you more do you take it differently than I do?